


Broken

by HunterMay18



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Bullying, Character Death, Fluff and Angst, Fluffy Smut, M/M, Sad, Self-Harm, Suicide, mention of rape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-28
Updated: 2013-07-28
Packaged: 2017-12-21 14:32:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/901390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HunterMay18/pseuds/HunterMay18
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There was a broken boy and someone tried to save him. They helped for quite sometime, but once a boy is broken as much as he was, there was no turning back. The boy was broken beyond repair.</p><p>Copyright © HunterMay18 & breethebree<br/>All Rights Reserved 2013</p>
            </blockquote>





	Broken

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: CONTAINS SELF HARM, PLEASE TURN AWAY IF THIS WILL TRIGGER ANYTHING.

When people you know passes it feels unbelievable. You don’t know what to think and who to even talk about it to. You don’t know why they died or why they couldn’t stay. You just want them to be right there next to you, but you know that they will be right there with you even if you can’t see them.

Everyone who lives never has a date set for when they are supposed to die, but everyone has to expire eventually and you don’t know when that time is exactly. You just have to live everyday to the fullest because you never know when you won’t see the next day.

Death can come in an instant or it could take time. But, everyone is different when they die, they could die from the same disease and all, but, everyone is different.

People die from suicide or just from being sick for so long and their body just couldn’t handle it anymore.

Now, let me take you back to when everything was better, and when the boy was still alive.

Time set, it’s the year 1999 and there is a boy sitting by himself watching the others. It’s not like he wasn’t a very friendly boy, no one just ever tried to befriend him. All they ever did to him was make fun of him and he never knew why.

They would make fun of his hair, his voice, and they way he squinted his eyes when he was focusing on an object. It was horrible and he would go home to his mother crying because it was so bad, but what he didn’t know was that there was another boy who would watch him.

The boy would always sit directly across the park and watch the boy in wonder. He would wonder why he was the way he was and why he didn’t have the friends he wanted. He always wanted to approach the boy but he never had the bravery to. He would just watch him like he always does, but he knew one day that he would need him and he didn’t think it would be this soon.

As he watched the boy, someone comes up to him and pushes him hard onto the ground. He yells something that he never wanted to hear come out from someone’s mouth. He clenches his fists and stomps over to where the boy was being yelled at.

“Why don’t you just leave him alone?!”

“What is this, the little faggot’s boyfriend?”

“No, I don’t know who he is. But, what has he ever done to you?” The boy doesn’t know what to say. “That’s what I thought, now fuck off.” The boy just stomped off and all the boy could think was that was easier than he thought.

He averts his eyes back to the sobbing boy on the ground, “Are you alright?” He spoke as he bent down and put his arm out for him. The boy accepts the hand and brushes himself off of the dirt on his trousers.

He looks up to the helpful boy and utters a sly, “Thank you.”

“No problem, well I must be off. I’ll see you around!”

“Wait! I didn’t catch your name,” The broken boy spoke as the boy who helped him ran off. He never asked him his name, and he starts to wonder whether or not the kid wanted to tell him his name.

A few years passed and the boy kept saving him, but he never quite told him his name. Every night the broken boy would lock himself up in his room and just cry. He wants to know why the boy never told him his name and why he never stuck around long enough to talk to him.

The broken boy would have endless dreams about him and it would end up with him waking up with a tent in his pants. He would then try not to touch himself, but he couldn’t help it and I trailed his hand down his torso. It slipped underneath his pants and boxers to grasp his member.

He starts to slowly move up and down, his member hardens to its full potential in the careful grasp. Since it hardened fully, he grasped it harder and was jerking off as quickly as his hand could. In a matter of minutes he was climaxing as images of the boy pooled through his head. He sighed as he didn’t have a name to scream when he released, but he just cleaned himself up and went back to sleep, dreaming of the boy once again.

He dreamt of the way his eyes would shine when they locked onto his. He saw everything through them that the boy had to offer to him. He would see the way that he would move his hair from his face and look up to him through his eyelashes. He would see the rosy cheeks he would get from coming out of the cold and just basically everything. He wanted to know this boy’s name and before it drives him mad (even though it did).

Years would continue on and the boy was still his night and shining armor, and he loved it. And he finally found out his name. He was happy beyond belief since he had a name to scream in ecstasy when he has to get rid of the painfulness below his pants.

But, the bullying never stopped. They just kept coming up with new things that they could make fun of, and no one knew the reason why the bullies kept it up. It wasn’t like he ever did anything to them; they just wouldn’t ever leave him alone. 

The nights of waking up pleasuring himself to the images of his savior wouldn’t suffice anymore and he didn’t like it. He wanted something more and something more he shall receive.

One day when the bullies left him alone (ever on a rare occasion), he saw the boy he was always helped by. He sees him looking down at his phone and he’s not looking all too happy, but he shouldn’t be sad because he doesn’t deserve to be.

His eyebrows furrow in confusion and notice that the boy he’s always known for the big smiles, is crying. He sees that he wipes away the tears and they just keep falling freely. It looks like he’s trying to hide the fact that he was crying, but the broken boy has come to know how he can tell when people are upset, and he’s not liking that he’s crying when it really should be him doing all the crying.

He walks up to the crying boy; he sits next to him and puts his hand on his shoulder. The boy stiffens and looks to the broken boy through his blood shot eyes. The broken boy doesn’t ask any questions, he just opens up his arms and the crying boy accepts. He lets the boy cry and cry in his arms, not even asking him what the matter was; and he never really did.

Once the boy had stopped crying, he moves his head off his chest and they look into each other’s eyes. No one made a move and they never broke contact. They both move in at the same time and finally their lips met. Their eyes were still open and staring back at each other, but after a few moments of their lips meeting both of their eyes slip closed. Both being that the young age of sixteen, they were sort of experienced, so they started to move their lips against each others.

They didn’t add any tongue or teeth or biting of lips, they just kept it as loving as possible; they didn’t want it to be too much, so they just kept it as lips only. The broken boy was the first one to break the kiss and peck the other once more before wrapping his arms around the boy. He kissed his head and just held him.

“Thank you,” The boy looked up to the other.

“I should be the one thanking you, you always get the bullies away from me,” The broken boy replied and looked to the boy that was still in his arms.

“I don’t do it for the thank you’s; I do it because it saves you. I help save your life and I’m proud of it,” The boy captures his lips once again with the broken boy and they both smiled into the kiss.

You would figure that there wouldn’t be anything to cry over, but there was. The two boys would become so inseparable, it was like trying to detach two magnets only to have them be pulled back together. Of course they became boyfriends because who doesn’t share a kiss like that without becoming something more. It took them time because they wanted to know each other more before they became what each other had wanted before.

And one day, the broken boy did ask the other why he got upset. He replied, “Because I wanted something I couldn’t have.”

“What was that?”

“You,” He jumps into the broken boy’s arms and kisses him deeply on the lips. He presses his forehead to his and looks directly into his eyes, “And now I have him.”

The broken boy spun him around and they were in the biggest smiles. But, that wouldn’t be for long, something was bound to happen (and it did.)

A few days after, the happiness was soon forgotten.

The broken boy was walking down the hallway to meet with his lover for lunch, when something or someone for that matter stopped him. The person stood in front of him and he looked up to meet the beady eyes.

“What are you looking at, faggot?”

“No—nothing, I wa—was just getting to lu—nch,”

“Have fun with the liar,” Just as the boy was walking off, he stopped when he heard those words.

“What do you mean?”

“He’s a fucking liar. He’s using you to get back at his girlfriend who broke up with him and he’s cheating on you.”

“Huh? How?” Tears were threatening to spill out from his eyes as he looks onto the bully.

“You remember Margo? Well it turns out she dumped him and he wasn’t too happy. She was saying all these things about how you two were to close, so she dumped him. He’s been seen with other girls and haven’t you noticed the hickey’s on his neck?”

The broken boy couldn’t say anything; he opened his mouth only to close it once more. People started to gather around him and started laughing. Little did he know that there was someone watching this all unfold from afar. They looked and just shook their head, they couldn’t believe the lies they were saying to the poor boy.

He clenches his fists and walks up to the crowd, “What the fuck?!”

“Oh, look if it isn’t the faggot’s boyfriend come to save the day.”

“Yeah I fucking am, why the fuck are you spreading these lies?”

“Because it’s fun to see him squirm and I hate to see him happy. So, making him upset is just what I love to do.”

“You know he’s already fragile enough, so leave him the fuck alone!”

“Or else?”

“This.” He takes his clenched fist and punches the bully directly into his nose. He felt the bone break and he waved his hand down because it hurt so badly from the impact. He goes to find the broken boy; he’ll deal with punishment later.

He can hear the faint sound of a loud cry and he knows exactly where to find him. He knows what he’s gone through and he needs to hurry. He picks up his pace and reaches a deserted classroom to where the cries are the loudest.

He opens the door and looks directly at the corner to the once again broken boy. He walks over and drops down to the floor. He pulls the sobbing boy into his lap and lets him cry. He threads hands through the boy’s hair and lets him cry.

The broken boy looks up. “So, is it true? That you’re lying to me?”

“I would never lie to you, them out there are just jealous because that you’re finally happy for once. They don’t like to see you happy, but I want to always love to see you smile; your eyes shine brighter than ever.” He thumbs over the tears that were slowly trickling down the broken boy’s face and kisses them away as well.

The broken boy looked up into the others eyes and he smiled, he smiled bigger than ever. He wraps his arms around the other and holds him; he never wants to let go.

At this point in his life, the broken boy had a secret, a secret that could tear his relationship with the boy he loves, forever. Every day he would go in his room and sit up against his bed recalling everything that the haters would tell him he was. Then he would start to believe it and then he would cry more than ever.

A few years ago, he started to self harm, he wanted the pain to go away and he was desperate for anything. But, the cutting never stopped, it became his drug. He knew he couldn’t cut his wrists because he could never wear long sleeves because then the bullies would know that there was something he’s hiding and that he would be somehow exposed.

So, for the nights that he would come home from a tough day of cries and just ruin his body. Instead of his wrists, he would take it out all on his legs, thighs and stomach. If someone were to take a look at him when he has his clothes on, but when he would take them off they would be shocked that this boy holds so many secrets; many secrets that if anyone would find out, it would such a tragedy.

There were more scares than skin on his thighs and he was going mental that he ran out of room. He’s not even thinking straight because as soon as he got home, he logged onto his computer and went to his Facebook and twitter page. He looked through every one of his notifications, and he knew he shouldn’t have but, he wanted to know what everyone thought about him. He read through every single one of them and all of them told him to kill himself, to leave and never come back or to cut himself, and make sure it’s deep. The hate kept on coming and in a matter of minutes he was full on sobs. He would always delete the hate messages, but they would always come back and he never knew why. He wanted the hate to go away and somehow it just kept coming back to him.

He was on the floor at this time with his favorite thing in the world, well not really but you get the picture, and he was fiddling with it between his fingers. He was really fighting the urge, but he couldn’t. He pulled down his pants, and just right before his boxers ended, he made three deep cuts. He watched as the blood pooled to the floor and trickling down his legs.

Then something happened after that he wouldn’t have imagined he started to violently cry. He screamed and yelled. He didn’t know why or what made this occur, but it did. Maybe it was the fact that he doesn’t want to lose the one person that he’s happy to have. He stopped crying, but the bleeding slowed down a bit, it just won’t stop.

He started to panic and he didn’t know what to do. He goes into the bathroom and he draws the bath, he needs the blood to stop. He starts to pull at his hair and it just isn’t enough. He gets into the bath and his cuts sting. He hisses at the sensation, but he wouldn’t be lying if it felt so good on him. He sits in the water until its red in color and the blood as stopped trickling down. He takes his black towel, so the blood doesn’t show, and carefully wipes off his thighs. He wraps his new cuts and he goes into his room to fall into the deepest sleep ever. He just always hopes one day he will never wake up from it.

The next morning he wakes up from his sleep and he peels off his covers. He looks at where he had cut himself the night before and the bandages were soaked through with blood. He quickly goes into the bathroom and pulls them off. He looks them up and down. He’s freaking out, this never happened before and he’s wondering why it’s happening now. He can’t tell anyone about this and he definitely isn’t telling his boyfriend.

He cleans them off the best that he could and he sighed a relief that part of it was starting to form a slight scab. He put on the ointment and put the bandages on loser than before. Now, he has to carefully put on skinny jeans, but after a couple minutes of the hissing of the jeans touching his cuts, so he was like fuck the jeans. He put on a pair of sweatpants and carefully walked out of his house.

He never wanted this to go this far and he definitely never wanted anything to happen like this. But, things have to happen for a way that you have to live life, so he thinks that he deserves everything and anything that he has coming his way. He just wants everything to be normal and that he doesn’t have to worry about the bullies or the self harming, but that’s just too far-fetched because everything happened already and there is no turning back.

He reached the school and was almost taken down by a force unknown until the person spoke, “Morning baby, how are you?” He turns around and presses a light kiss to his boyfriend’s lips.

“Just a bit tired, you?”

“Same, I wish school can just go and never come back.”

“Yeah me too…” The broken boy starts to walk a bit funny and his boyfriend notices his discomfort. His eyebrows furrow and then his hand goes to his mouth. He chokes out a sob before running over to the broken boy and engulfing him into the biggest hug that he could possibly ever give to someone.

The broken boy is confused as to why his boyfriend was clutching on to him and then he gasps. He knows, he noticed the way that he walked and how out of it he was before. After his boyfriend was done crying, he pulled the broken boy into an empty classroom and started to talk to him more than anyone else could.

“Baby, why?”

“Why, what are you talking about?”

“Stop acting like you don’t know what I’m talking about. Why would you hurt yourself?” He spoke to the now crying broken boy. He grasped his head with his hands before looking straight into the eyes of his lover, “Babe, you need to stop this. I don’t want to see you get hurt, you’re too beautiful to get hurt. I don’t want to lose you; I would be lost without you. Why can’t you see that what you’re doing to yourself is hurting me as well?”

“Because no matter how hard I try everyone seems to be after me. Everywhere I go there is someone there telling me that I shouldn’t live on this earth, that I’m nothing to anyone. I get told on a daily basis to cut myself and to cut deeper. I’m sick and tired of everyone who doesn’t care.”

“But, I do care and I don’t want to lose you. Don’t I matter?”

“Yes you do, but this has been going on since I was 13 and I wanted to stop. Ohh, I wanted it to stop so badly but it never did. Last night I just broke and I cut. I cut too deep and the bleeding is not stopping. I don’t know what to do, and I can’t tell my mom or she’ll have them put me into a psychiatric facility and then I will never be able to see you. Please, help me.”

“Alright, well my mother is a doctor and she taught me a few things to keep in mind. After school you can come over and I’ll tend to your cuts. And I won’t judge you with how many you have; I just want to help you. Alright?” The boy was still looking deep into the broken boy’s eyes and he was wiping away the stray tears trickling down his face with his thumb.

“Yes, thank you so much. I love you,” He presses his lips to the other and they share a kiss that put in each of the love to each other.

The broken boy got through the day, even with the odd looks the others were giving to him. But, he shrugged it off and he was happy that no one came up to him and said anything bad to him. He reaches his locker and a pair of arms wrap around his waist. His smile goes wider and he turns to his side to kiss his boyfriend on the top of his head.

“Ready to go?” He asked as he closed his locker and wrapped his arm around his lover’s waist. They walked just like that all the way to the house. His boyfriend greeted his mother and she greeted the broken boy with a heartwarming hug. They got up to his room and he went into nurse mode.

He motions for the broken boy to take off his pants and his jaw drops at what he sees. Scars littered all over his thighs and he can’t help but let a tear escape his eye. He quickly wipes it away to look at the boy who now looks at his feet because he’s so ashamed.

“Hey, don’t be nervous, you still look beautiful,” The boy walked over to the broken boy and kissed his forehead, “Now, let’s get you cleaned up.”

He carefully cleaned and disinfected the cuts; he even tended to the ones that scabbed over. He wanted to make sure that every one of the cuts will heal properly. Once he set his eyes on the most recent ones, he was a little worried because they looked really bad. He needed stitches but, it was too late for it to since it was starting to close up.

After he cleaned up every single one of the cuts, he wraps them up before telling the broken boy that they need to be tight, but not too tight where the bandage would cut off the circulation. Soon they were found cuddled close together by his mother, who then called the broken boy’s mother to tell her what she found. She thought it was cute, and the broken boy’s mom agreed; they let them sleep together since they didn’t want to ruin that.

The broken boy would try and try to not cut, but there was always one slip up. But, he made sure to not cut too deep and every time his boyfriend would clean them up for him. He would cry and almost yell at him, but he couldn’t because that wouldn’t make everything easier. It could push the broken boy into so much more.

The bullying would stop for the whole time that the broken boy was in year 12. It was the happiest time of his life and he stopped cutting. He told himself that he didn’t have something to cut about and he didn’t want to make more of a problem of himself. Then something would happen that he would least expect it. On the night of graduation, the broken boy and his lover would give themselves to each other, and it made his world ten times better.

As they reach the broken boy's house, the air between the two had grown tense with the want. The broken boy had looked over at his lover, and smiled a small one, showing his slight bit of nervousness. His lover reached his hand over and stroked the shattered cheek that flushed red under the moonlight.

In the whispers of the night, two boys communicate with their eyes. The broken boy's lover is shining bright, his eyes warm and the hand on his cheek warmer. Many pieces of the broken boy have been taken away, fallen off, floated away in the strong winds of what could have been. But in the small shine of the light, everything seems to be complete within the boy. Everything seems to be alright.

"Are you okay?" his lover whispers, eyes sparkling with love and peace. The broken one nods softly, starting to climb out of the car they were hiding in. His lover was right behind him, stepping out into the dark silence. An eeriness should've ruined the softness of the lovers, their shadows dancing in the moonlight. But both were so high on love, nothing could knock them down. No matter how dark.

As footsteps were echoing off of the stairwell walls, the anticipation of both boys was growing. The broken boy could hear the beating of his heart, loud in his brain, hard against his chest. It's not the only thing that feels hard, and when he realizes this, he flushes a deep red.

The bed is soft and hard at the same time, and the broken boy is sure it'll be better with his lover in it with him. So, he sits up and motions with a single finger for him to come over, and he does. After that, in the blur of the dark, naked skin is rubbing against naked skin, a burning feeling lighting in their chests.

The broken boy dusts the pieces of himself off of his lover, kissing away the ink tattooed on their hearts. His lover holds him close, flipping him over slowly, kissing his way so softly, so slowly, that the broken boy almost sobs. His breaths are heavy, his eyes wide, lungs contracting. The feeling of his lover's lips on him burn and feel like Heaven. Gasps leave his lips when he feels something smooth and thing enter him.

Prodding at him carefully, his lover opens him. His legs are spread across the bed carefully, pulled upwards to his chest, his fingers hooked under them. Small shivers go up the broken boy's spine, and his thighs are starting to quake. A small poke at something inside the boy erupts a new feeling. He's suddenly dragging his hips down, trying to feel that rush again. The gasps are coming out quicker, and each thrust of his lover's fingers leave him burning.

The loss of fingers is sudden, but the push and pull of something more leaves the boy breathless. He's clinging onto his lover's back, clawing at the skin there until little cresant moon shapes are pressed there, red and angry. His lover hisses a little, a mixture of pain and pleasure.

He pulls in and out when the broken boy has fully adjusted to him. Small bursts of fireworks find their way in the broken boy's chest, and he is suddenly finding difficulty in breathing. With every gasped moan, there is a new set of fireworks burning his heart.

The lover pushing into him is moaning low in his ear, whispering sweet nothings into the sweaty skin there. The broken boy has never felt so full, so complete. He almost sobs again, this time letting himself let out a couple of tears, though. He feels a deep burning in his stomach, so he clutches onto his lover, bringing him in deeper and deeper.

As he lets go of himself, his lover kisses him deep, sucking the small breaths out of him. The broken boy is left gasping for air after he has come down from the highest point of his life. His lover is finishing himself, coming deep inside. A small, breathy moan of 'I love you' echos from his lips, and the broken boy can still feel the words against his neck in small tingles when his lover pulls out and presses a kiss to his chest.

The broken boy was lying up against the headboard, with his lover cuddled into his side.

“You know I love you, right?”

“Yes, with all of your heart.”

“With all of my heart, until the end of time.” He moves his head and they share a passionate kiss before they fall asleep to the warmth of each other.

But, that happiness wouldn’t last. A few years later something would happen that would leave the broken boy more broken than ever.

The broken boy and his lover were still going strong. They even moved in after they were down with their studies at Uni. It happened so fast that no one expected it to happen.

One night the broken boy was walking home when someone pulled him into the deserted alley. No one heard his screams and his cry for help. He was brutally raped and left there to die. If it wasn’t for his lover to go out looking for him, he would have died.

They got him to the hospital and were able to save his life. He even had the DNA to catch the person who had done this to him, and it turned out the person who had done it was already charged with other counts of rape, so he’s in jail for life.

The broken boy’s life would spiral out of control where he wouldn’t even let his own boyfriend touch him. He wouldn’t even become intimate with him anymore; it was too hard for him to be able to do it. His boyfriend understood but he just wished that there was something he could do.

The broken boy would resort back to cutting himself, and it wasn’t like before; it was much, much worse. He couldn’t handle anything anymore, and he wanted the pain to end.

He made sure he waited until his boyfriend wasn’t home; he sat down in the kitchen chair and wrote his letter.

_Dear Louis, my Knight in shining armor, and my savior,_

_I know when you’re reading this you probably already found my body. I’m sorry for everything; I just couldn’t handle the pain. I couldn’t handle the fact that I saw how hurt you look when I didn’t want to be touched. I’m sorry for everything._

_I’ll always love you; you were my knight in shining armor. Don’t ever forget the heart that was broken and you fixed many, many times. But, this time it was too broken to be able to be fixed._

_I’m sorry, for everything._

_I just can’t live anymore, just let me go._

_Love,_

_The forever broken boy and your lover,_

_Harry xx._

 

He set’s the pen down and leaves the note on the table. He goes up to the bathroom, making sure that he leaves the doors open, he just has that feeling in his stomach that he will be saved; but he doesn’t want to be.

He grabs a bottle of pills and pours them out in his hands. He swallows one right after the other and he starts to feel the fuzzy feeling. No later he swallowed the whole bottle and he starts to feel the effects.

His boyfriend walks through the door and notices the letter. He reads it and screams, tears running down his face, he runs up into the bathroom. He sees the broken boy on the floor, and he already knows that it’s too late; he’s gone.

He latches on to the boy and notices that he was still breathing; he opens his eyes and smiles.

“I will always love you,” And then he falls limp into his lover’s arms. He dials 911 and they get there but were sad to say that even if they were to try to resuscitate him, the amount of pills he took he would be in a coma for a long time. The lover just nods his head and he screams once his body was taken out of the house.

The years would go by and the lover would never find himself another person to love. He didn’t want anyone; he wanted his one true love.

It wouldn’t be until he is around 65 years old that he would finally be reunited with his lover.

The gravestone where the broken boy was buried would be changed once the lover passes.

_The broken boy and his knight in shining armor reunited once more._


End file.
